


this feels like falling in love

by frappuccinoljp



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, I just don't know how yet, I promise, I'll add more tags as i go, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, but I love ziam so it'll probably be pretty big, but I promise they get together eventually, idk what else to tag this, larry is real af, side Ziam, soo much pining, there will be smut eventually
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-13
Updated: 2015-04-15
Packaged: 2018-03-05 12:35:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3120371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frappuccinoljp/pseuds/frappuccinoljp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis and Harry were best friends until Louis moved to America. Now somehow, 9 years later, Harry has wound up in America as well, and stuff happens. (I'm sorry, I really suck at summaries, just read it)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so hi so this is my first fic I've ever written but I'm really excited because I've been wanting to write one for a while. I'm sorry if it's bad, but I hope it's not. Um I'm not sure what else to really say about the fic itself so yeah.  
> Oh, the title is from ["Kiss Me"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFfKb_WEkCE) by Ed Sheeran.  
> A big thanks to my best friend Amia who I've bounced ideas off of and basically everything I write goes through her first. She doesn't have an ao3 sadly enough :( but but but she does have a [wattpad](http://www.wattpad.com/user/Tommo_Banana)  
> I may or may not post this on wattpad as well, but if so I'll link it here
> 
> Oh and hey I really need a beta so if anyone wants to beta please contact me via [twitter](https://twitter.com/frappuccinoljp) and/or [tumblr](http://euquol.tumblr.com/)
> 
>  **NOTE:** I don't own One Direction, otherwise I wouldn't be sitting here writing fanfiction, and none of this is true, so sorry to burst your bubble.

The first time Louis saw him was at his stepfather’s company Christmas party.

The party was a large, fancy affair, with suits and evening gowns and champagne. Louis thought the party was pointless, but his mother had wanted him to go, and he would do anything to make his mother happy. It was the Saturday before Christmas and he didn’t have anything better to do than babysit the girls yet again. So he put on his blue suit and went to the party, but he was dreading the boring night yet to come.

When he and his parents got there the first thing they had to do was find their table, but that in itself was a fiasco. Each table sat six people, and at their table was Louis, Jay, Mark, and some family that Mark knew. (Louis was sat next to their annoyingly hipster-ish son who gave him dirty looks all night. He said their name was Grimscott or Grinshaw or something, but Louis couldn’t care less.)

A few hours into the party, he found himself sitting alone at his table after everyone else had gotten up to go dancing. After checking the time on his mobile, he looked up to a boy staring at him from a nearby table. The boy immediately looked down at his feet when Louis caught his eyes, and Louis couldn’t help but let a smirk slip onto his face. He had a curly mop of brown hair and a black suit that looked like it didn’t quite fit. Curly was alone at his table and looked quite lonely, so Louis decided to walk over.

As Louis was nearing the table, curly finally looked up. When he met Louis’ eyes, Louis was speechless. He had the most beautiful eyes Louis had ever seen. His eyes were a deep green, and Louis wanted to drown in them. He wanted to see them every day for the rest of his life.

Louis then realized that curly must have said something because he was now looking at Louis expectantly as if waiting for an answer. “Sorry, I didn’t catch that, what did you say?” Louis asked.

“Oh, um, I-I said I’m sorry, you know, for staring at you?” curly started. “I-I-I didn’t mean to, I was just―”

“It’s not a problem. I just came over here because you looked quite lonely, and I thought you might want someone to talk to. Can I sit? You know, if that’s alright with you?”

“Um, y-yeah sure, if you want to.”

Louis sat down next to curly, and then, deciding that he should probably stop calling him curly, asked, “So what’s your name?”

“Oh, sorry, um, I’m Harry, uh, Harry Styles.”

“Well Harry, my name is Louis Tomlinson. It’s nice to meet you Harry.”

“Oh, um, yeah, I know who you are. You were Danny in the school play a few months back, yeah?”

“Yeah, that was me. Grease is my favorite movie, so I thought it only right to try out for the lead when I heard the school was doing the play.”

“Well I-I thought you did really great.”

“I plan to major in drama next year, so that means a lot to me. Thank you, Harry.”

“Um, well you’re welcome, but it’s true, really.”

“Well, thank you again, but enough talk about me, what about you? What do you like to do?”

“Oh, um, I like to sing sometimes. I’m not very great, but I guess I’m okay.”

“What kind of music do you normally sing?”

“Uh, sometimes Ed Sheeran because he’s my favorite artist but I mostly sing my own stuff.”

They wound up talking for the next few hours, even when Louis’s mum and stepfather returned to the table. Harry fumbled through his words, but Louis was enchanted. He loved the way his eyes sparkled in the candlelight and how Harry’s deep dimples came out when he smiled. And when he talked, Louis couldn’t help but stare at his pink lips, couldn’t help but imagine them wrapped around his―

Shit, Louis needed to get his mind out of the gutter. The poor boy probably wasn’t even gay, and here Louis was fantasizing about blowjobs.

Just then, Louis noticed that “Kiss Me” was playing, and he got an idea. Since Harry had said that Ed Sheeran was his favorite artist, it seemed only fitting.

“Harry would you like to dance?”

“Um, well I-I’m not a very great dancer,” Harry replied.

“It’s fine, I can teach you. My mum made me take dance lessons a few years ago, but I’m still not a good dancer.”

Harry smiled at that and said, “Oh, well, okay, we can dance if you want to.”

They both rose and started making their way to the dance floor. Although many people had left the party, the dance floor was still well populated. (However, it did seem like they were the only sober people left at the party despite the only alcohol being champagne.)

Louis began to instruct Harry on what to do starting with the simplest thing first, “Okay so first you put your left hand on my shoulder, and I put my right hand on your waist. Then hold on to my left hand with your right hand.” Harry blushed when Louis rested his hand on Harry’s waist, but nevertheless followed Louis’ instructions.

At first, Harry took large steps, reminding Louis of a baby deer first learning out walk. However, after a few songs, he danced more smoothly and more gracefully.

Louis was impressed with how quickly Harry caught on and said, “Harry, you’re really a much better dancer than you give yourself credit for. You seem like a package deal, what with those curls and dimples and the singing and dancing. When it comes to girls, you must have your pick!”

Harry blushed a deep shade of pink at that and looked to his feet. He mumbled a response, but Louis couldn’t make out what he said.

“What was that, Haz?” Louis didn’t mean to let the nickname slip, but once it was out, he couldn’t take it back.

Harry’s blush grew deeper, and he said, “I-I said, um, not girls exactly...” Harry seemed to get redder and redder with every word. “I, um, I’m more interested in, um, uh, blokes,” Harry stammered out.

If Louis felt happier at Harry’s admission, he didn’t show it. “Ahh, Harry, nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, it’d be quite hypocritical of me to judge you for it.”

Harry looked up with wide eyes. “R-really? I figured that you’d be straight with all of the girls crushing on you at school.”

“Yes, really. I’m surprised you didn’t know, I came out to everyone last year.”

“Oh, well, um even though I’m in year eleven, I transferred here at the start of the school year. We moved here from Holmes Chapel last year.” That would explain why Louis hadn’t seen him around campus before.

“Ahh I know how that feels mate, I transferred from a school in Doncaster in year ten. Everyone already knew each other, and that first year was tough. I eventually made friends but only because I joined the football team and later, drama club.”

“Oh, um, yeah, I’ve gone to a few football games, and I saw you playing. You’re really good, Louis.”

“Thank you. I’ve been playing football since I was small. Do you know how to play?”

“Oh, um, well you see, I do know how to play, I just can’t play. I know exactly what to do, it’s just that my brain doesn’t like to tell my feet what’s going on. I fall on my arse everytime.” Harry smiled at that, and his bright green eyes light up. Louis decided that he needed to make Harry smile more often.

“We’ll maybe I can help you sometime.”

“Oh, no, you don’t have to do that. I’m pretty sure no one can help me, I’m a hopeless case.”

“Well I guess we’ll see about that now won’t we?”

They continued to talk and dance for the rest of the night, and Louis couldn’t remember the last time he could talk so easily with someone. It seemed that all anyone wanted to talk about was school and college and work. But with Harry, the conversation flowed gradually from one thing to the next.

As they learned more about each other, they also became close enough so that they were pressed against each other. Harry had rested his head on Louis shoulder and nestled into his neck. Louis rested his cheek against the top of Harry’s head, slowly memorizing his smell. They fit together like pieces of a puzzle. Louis wanted to stay like this for the rest of his life.

• ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ •

After that weekend, Louis and Harry texted each other nearly everyday (they had exchanged numbers after the party). In fact, many nights Louis’ mother had to tell Louis to put his phone away at the dinner table.

They really became inseparable; they were a package deal. Once school started back up again, they spent every minute between classes with each other and ate lunch together everyday. Wherever Louis was invited, Harry was too, and visa versa. They slept over at each other’s house nearly every night, and when they couldn’t, they talked on the phone all night.

Louis had many friends, as he was actually considered quite popular, but soon Harry became his best friend.

Louis’ only problem with all of this was that every time Harry smiled at him, Louis wanted to kiss him until his lips were deep red. When Harry walked around shirtless (which was a lot), Louis wanted to suck dark bruises from one side of his chest to the other. Anytime Harry said Louis’ name, Louis couldn’t help but imagine Harry moaning it over and over as he comes apart.

But Louis didn’t feel just lust for Harry. When Harry was around Louis’ sisters, they adored him, and he looked just as happy, which made Louis dream of seeing Harry with their own kids. When Harry fumbled through his words, Louis found it endearing and sweet. When Harry cried during Love Actually (which they were watching for the fifth time this week), Louis wanted to wipe his tears away and hold him until he stopped crying.

But it was obvious that Harry didn’t feel the same way. Harry never said or did anything to indicate that he was interested in Louis, or really anyone for that matter. Harry saw him as a best friend and nothing more.

So Louis didn’t do anything about his growing affection for Harry. Every day he fell harder and harder for Harry, and he couldn’t stop himself.

Simply put, Louis was fucked.

Completely and absolutely fucked.

• ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ •

On a Saturday in late May, Louis woke up to sunlight streaming in from the window. The sky was a clear blue instead of the angry grey that it normally was. He thought was it strange that it wasn’t raining.

Another strange thing was the time. His mother must have let him sleep late today because it was nearly two. She normally woke him up at eight o’clock on the weekends despite his protests. If she didn’t wake him at eight, Harry would wake him at nine or ten, but this was one of the few nights that Harry wasn’t sleeping over.

He walked downstairs to the to the eerily quiet kitchen that was usually filled with the sound of the twins arguing, Fizzy’s favorite TV series, or Lottie’s annoyingly loud pop music (a lot of the time it was all of the above).

He walked towards the dining room where he heard Mark and Johannah whispering about something he couldn’t understand (Louis didn’t even know his mother could whisper because she was normally the loudest one in the room).

As soon as he walked through the door, they abruptly stopped talking. Jay looked worried for a second before plastering a giant smile on her face.

“I made you breakfast, boobear. Eggs on toast, just how you like it,” Louis mother said. Her face looked like it would crack in half from how wide she was smiling.

Now Louis was really worried. The last time his mother had let him sleep late and made him breakfast was when his pet dog died when he was 11. This couldn’t be good.

“Louis, why don’t you sit down,” Mark started.

“Um, okay, sure,” Louis replied unsurely. He sat down next to the plate and picked up the fork.

“Love, we have some news to tell you, but we’re not sure how you’re going to react. The girls are all at friends houses, so we haven’t told them yet,” Jay said hesitantly.

“Okay what is it mum?” Louis had no idea what this could be about, but he knew it was bad. Very bad.

“Mark, could you tell him? I’m not sure exactly how to say it,” Jay said as she smiled sadly.

“Well, Louis, you know how I’ve been working with the company quite some time now, yes? Well―”

“You didn’t get laid-off did you?!” Louis interrupted.

“Well, no, definitely not laid-off, it’s much better than that. You see Louis, I got a promotion.”

“That’s great, I don’t know why you were so worried about telling me.”

“Well, you see, the thing is, the promotion requires me to move to a different branch of the company, meaning we would have to move as well.”

“I don’t see what’s so bad about that, where would we have to move?”

“Well, I’m sure you’ve heard me talk about how the company is expanding to other countries? Well, one of those countries is America. They want me to manage a new branch of the company there in Los Angeles, California.”

“That’s great! America is―” Louis cut himself off with a sudden realization. “America is almost ten thousand kilometres away from here.”

For the second time in the span of a year, Louis was speechless. He would be ten thousand kilometres away from home, ten thousand kilometres away from everything he knows in life, ten thousand kilometres away from Harry.

Louis sat there frozen for what felt like hours, until his mother spoke up. “We’re really sorry Louis. Mark can’t afford not to take this promotion. The salary is triple what he makes now, and we don’t know when, if ever, he’ll get another opportunity like this.”

When Louis replied, it was like it wasn’t him speaking. He said hoarsely, “No, no, mum, don’t be sorry, I understand. But I’m going to my room now, I think I need a little time to process.”

Louis got up and walked to his room, barely making his way up the stairs before tears started streaming down his face. He leaned against his bedroom door as he closed it, sliding down to sit on the floor.

His entire world was crumbling beneath him, and all he could do was sit there and cry.

• ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ •

The following Thursday, Louis had finally worked up the nerve to tell Harry about the move. Louis was dreading it, but he knew he needed to tell Harry sooner rather than later.

After they had walked home from school, they were sitting on sofa playing FIFA and eating crisps. Although Louis didn’t want to interrupt the game, he decided it would be best to tell Harry now before his family got home.

When Louis (who was winning by the way) paused the game, Harry gave him a puzzled look and said, “Why’d you do that, Lewis? I was about to catch up.”

Louis rolled his eyes and replied, “Come on, Harold.You were not about to catch up to me.”

“Yes, I was, but now you’ve paused the game and messed me up. Why did you pause it?”

“Well, I have something really important to tell you. It’s sort of hard for me to say, and I don’t know where to start.” Louis was sure that Harry could hear his heart pounding at this point.

A look of concern washed over Harry’s face as he said, “What is it, Lou? You know you can tell me anything, and I’ll always be here when you need me.”

“Okay, wow, this is hard. Okay so you know how Mark has been working at the company for a while now, yeah? Well they’re promoting him to a higher position, specifically the manager of a new branch.” Louis paused unsure how to continue.

“Louis, that’s great! What’s the matter with that?” Harry exclaimed.

“Um, well the problem is that the new branch is in America, in Los Angeles, California.”

“What?” Harry said defeatedly as he looked down at his hands.

“I would have told you sooner, but I only just found out myself on Saturday, and I wasn’t sure how to tell you.”

“You-you can’t. You’re my only best friend I’ve had since moving here. You have to stay, you can’t leave.”

“I’m sorry, Haz, I’m so, so sorry. I wish I didn’t have to move either.” Louis’ eyes glazed over with a layer of tears waiting to be shed. “I’m so sorry, Harry.”

Harry continued to sit there numbly, so Louis moved over to hug him. Louis noticed that Harry had started to cry, so he hugged Harry tighter. As he began to run his fingers through Harry’s curls to calm him, Louis cried for the first time since the news.

Louis and Harry sat there wrapped around each other until Harry’s stomach let out a loud growl.

Louis pulled away with a tearful smile and said, “I guess we need to stop moping and eat, huh? We haven’t eaten since lunch.”

They walked to the kitchen and put frozen pizza in the oven. Harry grabbed a banana from the fruit basket and hopped up onto the counter.

“So, when are you moving there?” Harry said through a mouthful of banana. His cheeks were still red, and he didn’t look like his happy outgoing self.

“Mum told me we’re flying out on the last Saturday in June, so that gives us a little over a month to pack.”

“Oh.”

The kitchen was wrapped in silence until the oven timer went off for the pizza. Louis cut the pizza into slices, and they ate without words. After they finished, they put their plates in the sink and played FIFA until Jay and the girls got home.

• ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ •

That last Saturday in June seemed to arrive much too quickly.

As they walked around the empty house one last time checking if anything had been left, Louis was filled with overwhelming sadness. Even though they had only spent four years in this house, he couldn’t help but recall the memories that were flooding his mind.

As he closed his bedroom door for the last time, he went into the kitchen where Harry was waiting for him. They had decided that they didn’t want to sacrifice any more time apart than they had to, so Harry had slept at his house the previous night. Harry looked even more dismal than Louis did which broke Louis’ heart.

They walked through the front door in silence, both looking down at their feet. As they reach the driveway where the rental car was waiting (they had traded in their own car for one just like it but with the steering wheel on the opposite side, and it was waiting in Los Angeles), they finally looked up.

Louis looked into Harry’s eyes and almost started crying again. Never again would he see those eyes that he fell in love with, those eyes that didn’t love him back yet, those beautiful, beautiful green eyes. They were his favorite thing in the world, and he would never see them again. It made Louis’s heart hurt to think about it.

Louis faintly heard his mother say it was time to go and to get in the car.

Louis wrapped his arms around Harry for the last time and said into his ear, “Goodbye, Haz. I am going to miss you so, so much. I love you.” Louis couldn’t help but let tears roll down his cheeks for the millionth time that day.

Harry squeezed him tighter and replied, “I love you too. Thank you for being my best friend, I’m going to miss you. Goodbye, Lou.” Harry squeezed Louis one last time and let him go.

Louis looked into Harry’s eyes for the last time and vowed never to forget them. Then he turned around and walked to the car. As the car drove off, he cried until couldn’t cry anymore.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I really hope you're enjoying it, I'm planning on adding more chapters soon. I don't really have a posting schedule so all I can say is that I'll have a new chapter as soon as I can. I also don't really have any idea as to how many chapters this'll wind up being either so sorry in advance.
> 
> I really need a beta so if you're interested, contact me via [twitter](https://twitter.com/frappuccinoljp) and/or [tumblr](http://euquol.tumblr.com/).
> 
> My twitter is [frappuccinoljp](https://twitter.com/frappuccinoljp) and my tumblr is [euquol](http://euquol.tumblr.com/).


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the wait was so long, I've been really busy lately and I just finished this today. Enjoy!
> 
> *NOTE: The POV switches to Liam's halfway through and then back to Louis'. I needed to do this because Liam and Zayn's conversation is very important to the story. The POV in the story will almost always be Louis', but if I need to switch, it'll probably always be to Liam's POV.

After Louis grabbed the mail from their box downstairs, he began his ascent up the seven flights of stairs to he and Liam’s flat. While he would have much rathered taking an elevator, it had been broken since he moved into the building three years ago.

He, Liam, and Niall had all asked the superintendent many times to get it fixed, but so far nothing had been done about it. (The super was this guy named Ben. He seemed to be a nice enough guy at first, but the longer Louis knew him, the less nice he became. With his beady eyes and sneaky nature, he reminded Louis of a weasel.)

But as he looked through bill after bill after bill, he began to think that maybe it’s a good thing he has to make the climb daily, otherwise he probably wouldn’t get any exercise at all. He’s the assistant coach for the grade school football team (or “soccer” as Americans call it) during the fall. The rest of the year, however, is exercise free except for the occasional pick up game of football between he, Liam, Zayn, and Niall in the park across the street.

When he got to his flat, he fumbled with his keys for a second wondering how he had amassed such a large collection of keys on his key ring even though he didn’t know what even half these keys went to.

When he finally found the right key and opened the door, Liam was sitting on the sofa playing FIFA as he normally was when Louis got home. He gave Louis a quick, “Hey, Louis,” but didn’t look away from the screen as he continued playing.

After Louis put his keys and wallet on the counter right beside the tray for the mail that that Liam had put there in an effort to keep the counter clean (the tray didn’t do a very good job), he walked over the the fridge. He grabbed a water bottle and walked into the living room where Liam was.

Once he flopped down on the sofa, he asked Liam if they could switch to multiplayer the next game (or rather, he told Liam to stop playing and give the controller to Louis, but Liam said they could play multiplayer next game).

He checked his Twitter and Instagram for a bit, but didn’t seeing anything interesting. He honestly didn’t know why he even had the apps on his phone because he never tweeted or posted any pictures. He played Trivia Crack (he swears he’s not addicted, but Liam says otherwise) until Liam was finished.

“Finally mate, it took you long enough,” Louis joked. He was so mean to Liam but he never meant it. When Niall moved in next door, at first he thought that Louis and Liam hated each other, when in reality, Liam had actually been one of his best friends since they met their second year of college.

Niall quickly had become part of their lives, becoming a member of their little group. His laugh, Louis soon learned, was infectious, and Niall managed to make friends wherever he went. Niall could also eat enough food to feed an entire army without becoming full and out drink all of the town drunkards without even feeling tipsy. Niall considered both to be super powers.

The fourth member of their little group was Zayn, Liam’s boyfriend. Louis had met Zayn in his first year of college and was actually his first friend when he moved to America. When the drama class had put on their first performance, the art class had designed the set for the show, and they hit it off immediately.

They became a trio when Louis met Liam in his business class the next year. Zayn and Liam started crushing on each other the moment they first met, their affection for each other obvious to everyone except for themselves. Finally, two years ago today, they had started dating. They were a painfully cute couple, and if it were anyone else Louis would hate them. But they weren’t anyone else, they were his two best friends that had loved each other since the day first met and Louis was happy for them.

What was funny was that they were all from England, except for Niall who was from Ireland. Liam had moved here when he was ten, Zayn when he was thirteen, Louis when he was nineteen, and Niall just last year when he was twenty-five. They just seemed to fit together well, and their shared heritage was just an added bonus.

Loouis was brought out of his thoughts by the sound of a door slam, but Louis wasn’t alarmed because he already knew it was Niall. The only other people who had keys to their flat besides he and Liam were Niall and Zayn, and Zayn never slammed the door.

Niall walked into the living room, and when he saw them, he practically shouted, “Oi! Mates, are you playing FIFA without me? How could you do this to me?” Niall tried to feign distress but broke into a huge smile after a few seconds.

Louis couldn’t help but smiling back, saying, “Well, Niall, we didn’t have to tell you because we knew you would follow the smell of the spaghetti Liam's making tonight for his date with Zayn. And you see, I guess it worked didn’t it?”

All three boys laughed at that until Niall said, “But seriously, mates, switch it to three player next game yeah?”

“Yeah, sure Niall, we can switch it after next game,” Liam said just as Louis was about to protest.

While Niall was waiting for them to finish, he wandered off to go see if there was anything new in their pantry that he didn’t see when he came over yesterday. Niall did the same thing every time he came over, even if he knew they hadn’t gone to the store.

Louis shouted to the general vicinity of the kitchen, “Hey Niall, since Liam and Zayn are having their date here, can I stay at your place tonight? Someone has a gross lack of consideration for people who are trying to sleep at night.” Liam blushed a deep red at that.

“Haha, sure mate, but you have to bring food and beer for us because I need to go to the store,” Niall replied. Louis was surprised because although Niall ate constantly, normally his pantry was magically fully stocked. Probably because he always came over to steal food from them.

When Niall came back, he had a bag of crisps and a water bottle. Niall knew to sit on the floor so he wouldn’t get crumbs on the sofa. Louis claimed that a living room was meant to be lived in, not kept in pristine condition like a museum; however, Liam disagreed. Everyone knew that if they didn’t sit on the floor while eating, Liam would throw a fit.

Louis knew that Zayn’s art classes he taught at the local high school were just about to end, so he expected Zayn to arrive any minute.

Sure enough, Zayn walked through the door after about three more games. He grabbed a water and joined the boys in the living room.

Even though Louis had never been attracted to Zayn, he definitely still saw what made all the girls (and guys) fall head over heels for him. His dark skin and hair and chocolate eyes made everyone go absolutely crazy over him.

Zayn was probably Louis’ best friend out of all the boys though he wouldn’t admit it to them. Zayn and he were almost exact opposites, Louis with his loud and sarcastic nature and Zayn with his quiet and shy nature. But somehow they just fit. Zayn was probably Louis’ best friend since Harry.

But no one compared to Harry. Louis had tried to forget about Harry as best he could, but nothing seemed to work. Harry’s brown curls and dimples made him hard to forget. And of course, there were Harry’s beautiful, green eyes that Louis had fallen in love with.

It had only been eight years, yet Louis knew that he would never be able to forget Harry.

Louis snapped himself out of it to see Zayn walking over to the sofa. Zayn flopped down in between Liam and Louis with a loud sigh.

Louis chuckled and said, “Had a long day, mate?”

Zayn closed his eyes as he nodded his head, “We did pottery today and one of the kids decided it would be fun to paint a dick on his mug. He put it in the kiln before I was able to look at it, so didn’t know about it until after it came out. While I obviously don’t have a problem with dicks, his mother does, and she called today and bitched me out.”

Louis was trying to hide his smile as he said, “I’m sorry, mate. Angry women are quite scary.” Louis knew that he probably would’ve been the kid who painted a dick on the side of a mug when he was in high school. Actually, he’d probably still do it to this day even though he’d been out of college for four years.

Zayn joined the boys next game without even having to ask (Louis was pretty sure Zayn was everyone’s favorite), and the played until Zayn had to go shower and change clothes for he and Liam’s date (Liam had told Zayn that he didn’t have to get ready, that he was fine as he was, but Zayn insisted that he had paint on him. Louis didn’t see any paint on Zayn or his clothes, but he suspected that Zayn was nervous for their big anniversary dinner).

• ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ •

Even though Liam had cooked for the four of them many times before, he was still worried about how his spaghetti turned out. It was he and Zayn’s two-year anniversary and he wanted it to be special.

He was nervous about tonight because Zayn said he had something to tell Liam. Zayn made it sound very important, and Liam wasn’t sure what it could be.

Just as he was finished draining the noodles, Zayn came in the door. He hugged Liam from behind, wrapping his arms around Liam’s stomach and kissing his way up Liam’s shoulder to his neck.

Zayn whispered into his ear, “Smells good, babe.”

Liam turned around and kissed Zayn. “Thank you, love,” Liam said back to him. “I hope it’s good, I’ve been cooking it all evening.”

“I’m sure it’ll be great, Liam.”

Liam started taking out plates and wine glasses for the two of them. Neither Liam not Zayn drank wine very often, forgoing it for beer instead, but there was a bottle he had been saving for a special occasion and this seemed like one.

As Liam fixed plates of spaghetti for them, Zayn poured the wine and got out utensils. Liam would’ve put out a white tablecloth and candles, but he thought it would be too cheesy.

While they were eating dinner, they told each other about their day. Liam loved the sound of Zayn’s voice more than anything in the world. He loved the how it was smooth and rich, and he loved the slight Bradford accent that was still there even after twelve years of living in America.

The only thing better than Zayn’s speaking voice is Zayn’s singing. When he first met Zayn, Liam quickly developed a small crush on him. But about a year after they met, when he, Louis, and Zayn were driving to a party, Zayn started singing along to some song that came on the radio. When he heard Zayn singing, Liam was sure he’d died and gone to heaven, and Zayn was an angel there to greet him at the pearly gates. That was when Liam’s crushing on Zayn quickly changed into falling in love with Zayn.

Liam thought that Zayn was the most wonderful human being on earth and that never in a million years would he be with Zayn, but apparently life had other plans. Now, six years after they first met Liam was having dinner with Zayn, his boyfriend of two years.

They had first gotten together two years ago when they had both gotten too drunk at a party, and Zayn had leaned in to kiss him. They sloppily made out for a good ten minutes until they went up to Zayn’s room. The night ended with Liam fucking Zayn into the mattress and then falling asleep in Zayn’s arms.

They came downstairs in the morning to find Louis and Niall high fiving (they had slept over after being too drunk to drive home the night before). Everyone had apparently knew they were going to get together before Liam and Zayn did, and they had placed bets on it. Liam wondered why he was even still friends with these people.

After they had finished dinner and put their dishes in the sink, they went into the living room to sit on the sofa. Liam sat with his arm around Zayn, and Zayn cuddled into his side. They sat there in silence for a while, just simply enjoying being in each other’s company.

Zayn finally broke away from the embrace and turned to Liam. “Okay so Liam, I told you there was something I needed to talk to you about,” Zayn started. Liam was confused by Zayn’s seriousness and worried that Zayn must be breaking up with him.

Zayn must’ve been able to read the panic on Liam’s face because he quickly added, “Don’t worry, babe, it’s not bad!” Liam let out a sigh of relief as Zayn continued, “Well, you know we’ve been going out for two years, and before that, we knew each other for four years?”

“Um, yeah,” Liam replied, confused as to where Zayn was going with this.

“Well—shit this is hard for me to put into words—um, well, we gave each other keys to our apartments a while back yeah?”

“Yeah,” Liam responded, still just as confused.

“I sort of want to go a step further than that,” Zayn paused, “Liam, do you want to move in with me?”

“W-what?” Liam didn’t know what to say. He was so happy, he was speechless.

“I mean you don’t have to, but I’ve been thinking about this for a while,” Zayn said as he looked down.

A smile spread across Liam’s face as he replied, “Wow, yeah Zayn, of course I’ll move in with you, I’d love that.”

Zayn looked up and smiled. It was that wide smile that Liam loved where his eyes grew squinty and just became thin slits.

“Thank you for saying yes, Liam. I’ve been nervous about this for the past month and I didn’t know how to ask you.”

“Well I think you picked a perfect time to ask me,” Liam replied. “When exactly do you want me to move in?”

“I figure in about two months time? That seems like a long time from now, but I figure that’ll give you enough time to pack and stuff. But really whenever you want, it doesn’t matter to me, I just want to be able to wake up lying next to you every morning.”

“Zayn, we already do wake up next to each other every morning.” Liam was always either sleeping at Zayn’s house or Zayn was sleeping here.

“Yeah, but we always wake up in my bed or your bed. I want to wake up in our bed.”

Liam leaned close Zayn and kissed him. The kiss was long and slow and unhurried. Liam pulled away for a second and said, “I love you so much, Zayn.”

“I love you too, Liam.”

• ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ •

When Louis got to Niall’s flat (with beer and food as promised), Niall was nowhere in sight. Louis looked around for a bit but stopped after a while because he didn’t want to find Niall wanking again. That was a horrible experience the first two times, and Louis didn’t think he could take it a third time.

He sat down on the sofa and watched whatever crap was on TV (he can’t remember what it was because it was some kind of American crap), and ate some crisps (if was a new bag because Niall ate all of the other ones earlier). He loved being at Niall’s because he knew that Niall didn’t care if he ate on the sofa. It was great.

After a few minutes, Niall came down the hallway from his bedroom to the living room wearing a nice white button-down shirt and dark skinny jeans.

“Wow, Niall, you didn’t have to get all dressed up for me. I appreciate the effort though, mate,” Louis teased with a smile on his face.

“Oh, shit, mate! I meant to tell you that I have a date tonight with Barbara. Are you good with staying here by yourself?” Niall asked.

“Yeah yeah, Niall, I’ll be fine. I have TV, beer, and crisps, what more could a guy what?”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. I hate leaving you by yourself, but I made plans last week and I don’t want to cancel now.”

“Nah, Niall, it’s fine. Go, enjoy your date. But don’t bring her back here when the night’s through, yeah?”

Niall cracked a smile at that, saying, “Okay, sure mate, we’ll go to her place.”

Niall headed for the door grabbing his keys, before saying, “Phone me if you need me, yeah? I’ll talk to you later, mate.”

“Okay, yeah, bye Niall, I’ll see you later.”

As Niall closed the door behind him, Louis couldn’t help but wonder why yet again he was alone. It seemed like everybody had somebody but him. Liam had Zayn and Niall had Barbara, a girl who he’d been dating for the past few months. Most groups had a token gay guy but instead they had a token straight guy.

Louis had only been in two long-term relationships since moving to America. The first one ended pretty well compared to the second one. The first one had ended when they decided that they just didn’t love each other anymore, or rather they loved each other more as friends than as lovers. They were still on good terms and still friends.

However, the second one didn’t end so well. He had been going out with the guy for two years until one day he came home from work early and found the guy sleeping with some chick. Louis stormed out the house and went to Liam’s place so he could cool down. Louis never talked to the him again despite the guy trying to contact him numerous times.

After that he had moved in with Liam and swore off dating completely. Instead, Louis went clubbing with Niall every few weeks and went home with someone every now and then. They didn’t bring Liam and Zayn along with them very often because instead of dancing, they always wound up sitting in a corner by themselves (apparently they were very handsy drunks which was a lot of the reason they got together in the first place).

When Liam tried to set him up with friends from work, Louis accepted at first, but after a while, Louis started saying he was fine without a boyfriend for the time being. Really, Louis did want a boyfriend, but he didn’t want to tell Liam that because Louis didn’t want Liam to worry about him (Louis didn’t want Liam to worry because Liam didn’t just worry about something, he thought about it every minute and talked about it constantly).

Everytime he went out with a someone, they seemed great but there was always something missing. Everyone he went out with seemed too dull, like they were lacking something, but Louis couldn’t figure out what.

Louis soon figured out the problem: they weren’t Harry. While he didn’t think of Harry all the time, Harry was his first love, and Louis couldn’t help but compare every guy he met to Harry. He missed his dimples and his curly hair and everything about Harry. More than anything else, Louis just wanted to see those eyes one more time.

Louis and Harry didn’t even talk anymore, much to Louis’ displeasure. About one month after the move, Lottie nabbed Louis phone while they were at the beach, and she managed to drop it in the ocean. Louis lost all of his contacts and all of his pictures, including Harry’s number and every picture of Harry he had.

Louis decided he needed to clear his head, so he opened up Trivia Crack. His lives had refilled since earlier, so he played on that for a while. But he kept getting the history category which was his worst, so he didn’t play for very long.

Once he ran out of lives, he decided to flip on the TV because Niall didn’t have FIFA. There was an _X Factor_ marathon on TV, and Louis decided that would be better than _Keeping Up With the Kardashians_ or _Honey Boo Boo_ or whatever reality TV show they came up with next. (Louis had always wanted to go on _X Factor_ , but he just never got around to it.)

After watching _X Factor_ for a while, Louis wound up falling asleep on the sofa. He loved his job as editor-in-chief at _Strong_ , but sometimes it just really tired him out. It was early, but the night before he had stayed up late checking over the final draft for the next month’s issue.

And if Louis dreamed of a certain green-eyed, dimpled, curly haired boy, then that was Louis’ business and no one else’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter wasn't too exciting, I kinda wanted to give some background info before jumping right in.
> 
> I really don't have an updating schedule, but ~~while~~ if you're waiting (idk if anyone is actually on the edge of their seats waiting for the next chapter, I mean ik I wouldn't be) you should go show me some love over at my [twitter which is @frappuccinoljp](https://twitter.com/frappuccinoljp/) and [tumblr which is euquol](http://euquol.tumblr.com/).
> 
> I really need a beta so if you're interested, contact me via [twitter](https://twitter.com/frappuccinoljp) and/or [tumblr](http://euquol.tumblr.com/).


	3. Chapter 3

A week later, Louis walked up to his apartment, looking through the mail and again wondering why he had so many keys. He thought about how every day seemed like a constant echo of the day before. It felt so repetitive and monotonous, and Louis hated how every day felt exactly the same.

The only good days were weekends, and even those grew to be boring after a while. None of the boys cared to go out with him anymore because they were all in relationships. Since going out clubbing alone was quite boring, he tended to stay at home every weekend watching the _X Factor_ , _The Walking Dead_ , and whatever happened to be on Netflix.

Or, well, not every weekend. Sometimes Louis was lucky enough to have to work on the weekend. Yippee.

This happened to be one of those weekends since someone at the magazine had screwed up. They forgot to send in the final draft of this month's issue, so Louis was making phone calls and stressing out the entire weekend. _Strong_ was an international magazine, and it needed to be sent out at least a week in advance to the various distributors around the world. Even though _Strong_ was going to be sent out a week later than usual, everything else was back to normal.

Now Louis was looking forward to a much needed long break. He was about to go on a two month vacation, and although he would be working from his laptop an hour each day, he still considered it a vacation.

For the first month, he was going back to Doncaster to visit his Nan and the rest of his family (and if he was also hoping he would run into a certain green-eyed boy with curly hair, then no one else needed to know).

For the second month he was staying with friends in London that he had kept in touch with. He hadn’t properly visited the city since he was a kid, so this trip was long overdue. He wanted to visit all the typical tourist places as soon as he got there. Hopefully the friends he was staying with would also show him around the city so he could really “experience” the city.

To make things even better, after he came home from Doncaster, he was going to come home for a few days and then stay in Long Beach, California with his mum and her new husband Dan for a week. He would get to see his sisters and brother and spend time with them.

After Jay and Mark had divorced when he was 21, Mark had stayed in Los Angeles, but his mother and the girls moved to Long Beach where she could get a better job and where they were closer to the coast. Louis decided to permanently move to San Francisco where he had gone to college since moving to America.

It was a two and a half month vacation, but it was the first actual vacation he had gone on since starting his internship at _Strong_ his second year of college. Although his degree was in drama, he had shown much promise as an intern and had quickly risen through the ranks to his current position as editor-in-chief.

Since it was Sunday, there probably wouldn’t be anyone in the flat right now. Zayn normally went to his studio on Sundays to paint so he could chill out before the next school week started. Apparently Zayn and Liam were attached at the hip, so Liam normally tagged along to watch him paint. Hopefully that’s where they were today so Louis could catch up on much needed sleep.

 _Sleep. Sleep seems so nice_ , Louis thought. _Sleep must be the best thing in the world; there can’t be anything better than sleep._ He had stayed up all night at the office the past two days, and he was dead tired.

However, instead of coming home to an empty apartment like normal Sundays, Louis came home to Liam and Zayn fucking. In the kitchen. On the counter. Again.

Louis shielded his eyes as he said, “Aww, come on, mates! This is the fourth time this week!”

Liam turned around and blushed slightly, pulling up his pants as he said, “Sorry mate, we didn't think you'd be home so early.” Zayn, however, didn't look the slightest bit ashamed; in fact, he looked almost annoyed that Louis had interrupted them.

Louis rolled his eyes saying, “Oh, come off it. Why can't you just do this in Liam's room, or better yet, at Zayn's house? It's unsanitary to fuck on the counter.”

Louis thought he saw Zayn shoot a questioning look at Liam and thought he saw Liam answer with a slight shake of his head. He wondered what that was about but didn't ask. Of course it could have just been nothing because Louis was so tired his judgement was a little off. In fact, he was so tired, he swore he saw Betty White smoking a joint on the way to his apartment building. He _really_ needed sleep.

“Now,” Louis started, “You can go fuck somewhere else, or you can come watch _The Walking Dead_ with me in the living room.” Louis got cranky when he was tired, and he wasn’t afraid to let people know.

Louis then turned around and walked to the living room, flopping down on the sofa when he got there. He grabbed the remote and a blanket that was across the back of the sofa and laid down.

Louis could hear Liam and Zayn in the kitchen talking in hushed, hurried tones, but he didn't really pay much attention to them. Normally he would eavesdrop, but right now he was too tired to do much of anything.

A few minutes later, the couple came into the living room and sat on the loveseat (how very fitting) adjacent to the couch. Liam sat with his arm draped across Zayn's shoulders as they watched television.

Louis glanced over at them and took in the sickeningly cute scene. Back in the beginning, Louis could tell that they would wind up together; it just seemed inevitable. Louis was happy they finally worked things out, but a part of Louis couldn't help but feel slightly jealous of them. They were perfect for each other and so in love, like two halves of the same person.

Louis yearned for that kind of love, and he wondered if he'd ever find someone who would look at him the way Liam and Zayn looked at each other. It was a look filled with so many emotions: fondness, endearment, infatuation, passion, lust. They would get lost in each other's eyes, like they were the only two people on earth.

Their story, their relationship, their love, was so cliché, but Louis wouldn't really mind cliché if it meant never feeling alone again.

• ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ •

Louis woke up the next morning laying on the sofa. He couldn't remember what time he had fallen asleep, only that he had made it through about one episode of _The Walking Dead_.

He was about to start panicking about being late for work when he remembered his vacation. He also seemed to recall that he was leaving in two days and he hadn’t started packing. Well, fuck. He decided he would enlist Liam’s help later that day (more like tell Liam what to pack for him and “supervise” him).

Just then, he heard a horrendous noise. What the fuck was that, he thought. Then he realized it had come from his stomach. He got up from the sofa and made his way to the kitchen. He started a pot of tea on the stove and went to fix himself breakfast.

Since he couldn't cook, he decided that cereal was his best bet. He forewent Liam's healthy cereal that tasted like cardboard and instead went for Cinnamon Toast Crunch (even though he was a grown man, he still thought Cinnamon Toast Crunch was the best). After fixing himself a bowl, he sat down at the round table in the kitchen.

After a few minutes, Liam came down the hall. It wasn't unusual for him to be home on weekdays because he was a “[freelance front-end developer](http://peteschuster.com/2012/01/what-is-a-front-end-developer/),” whatever the fuck that was. Anytime Liam tried to explain exactly what he did, he would start talking about HTML and CSS and JavaScript, and Louis always got hopelessly confused. All that he could understand about it was that it had something to do with designing websites or something.

Liam fixed grabbed a water from the refrigerator since he had probably already had his disgusting coffee this morning when he got up to go running. Liam got up every morning at 5:30 to go running, and personally, Louis thought he was fucking crazy. Louis liked to sleep as late as he could, and getting up early seemed painful.

Louis got up to get his tea and came to sit back down at the table. As Louis sat down, he noticed that Liam looked anxious. He hoped it wasn’t related to the questioning looks and hushed conversations Liam and Zayn had exchanged the day before. As much as the couple annoyed him with their incessant mushiness, he couldn’t imagine them ever _not_ being incessantly mushy. Even before they got their shit together, he always knew that they would wind up together; it was just a fact.

Louis pushed all those thoughts to the side as Liam took a sip of his water and began to speak. “Hey, um, Louis, I’ve been meaning to speak to you for a while now,” he started. Louis grew worried because he had no idea what could’ve happened to warrant the serious expression Liam was now wearing. Liam seemed to notice Louis’s confusion because he quickly said, “Oh, no, you don’t have to worry! It’s nothing bad.”

Louis was still quite confused, but his nerves were at least a little more at ease with Liam’s statement. Liam started again, “Well, okay, so at me and Zayn’s anniversary dinner, Zayn askedmetomoveinwithhim.”

Louis couldn’t quite make out what Liam said, so he asked, “What was that, Liam?”

A blush crept up Liam’s cheeks as he repeated himself, “Um, at our anniversary dinner, Zayn asked me to move in with him.”

A smile broke out onto Louis’s face as he congratulated Liam, “That’s fantastic, mate! Surprised it took you guys so long.”

Liam grinned and said, “I’m moving in in about two months―or I guess a little less than two months now.” Then something dawned on Louis.

“Wait, Li, two months? Do you mean at the end of April? I’m leaving for Donny on Wednesday, and I won’t be back until May. After that I’ll be home for a week, but I’m spending the next week with mum and Dan. When you move out I’ll have to find another flatmate to help with the rent, and I can’t look for one if I’m over ten thousand kilometres away.” (It had been eight years, but Louis still hadn’t gotten used to the Americans’ use of miles. He thought that they should switch to kilometres with the rest of the world.)

“Oh, shit, Lou! I completely forgot about that. I can ask Zayn if I can move in a little bit later until after you get back? I’m sure he won’t mind.”

“No, no, Liam, move in with Zayn for when you planned. I’ll just find a flatmate when I get back; I’m sure I can cover rent by myself for a few months.” They both knew this was a lie, because although the broken elevator suggested otherwise, their flat was quite nice and in a very good part of town. Louis and Liam both paid half of the cost of rent and groceries and whatnot, but Louis was also still paying off student loans. Louis wouldn’t be able to afford the flat by himself, which was why he and Liam had gotten the flat together in the first place.

Seeing through Louis’ lie, Liam wore a look of apprehension. “Look, Liam, I’m sure I’ll be fine by myself for a little bit.”

“Unless…” Louis could practically see the gears turning inside Liam’s head. “While you’re back home, I could interview prospective flatmates, and you’ll have to approve the person of course. They could move in the week you’re with your mum, so then they’ll be settled in by time you finally come home.”

“Liam, that’s brilliant! That would be great! Are you sure though?”

“Yeah, yeah, mate, wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t want to do it. Maybe I can even convince Niall and Zayn to help me.”

“I’m sure if there’s food involved, Niall would be happy to help.” They both chuckled at that, and they grinned at each other because they were excited about their newfound plan.

Liam got up from the table and said, “I better go called Zayn and let him know that I’ve told you.”

As Liam was walking to his room, Louis suddenly remembered his still unpacked suitcase and called after him, “Hey, Liam, when you’re done with that can you give me a hand with packing?”

Liam rolled his eyes because he knew he would wind up doing all the packing himself, but nevertheless, he replied, “Yeah, Louis sure.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo! I finally got a chance to write some more. I still can't promise regular updates, but I'll update as often as I can you guys. I'm sorry this chapter was so short but the next chapter is going to be much longer (I think).
> 
> As of now, I still don't have a beta, so if you can beta my twitter is [@frappuccinoljp](https://twitter.com/frappuccinoljp) and my tumblr is [euquol](http://euquol.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Much love, hope to update again soon, Julie xx

**Author's Note:**

> HEY VERY IMPORTANT:  
> Hey guys, I know I haven't written in a long, long while, so I'm really sorry for that, but honestly I have no good excuse, I kinda just lost my motivation. I keep meaning to start writing again, but it just never works out. Sooo, if you see this and you want me to keep updating, please, please, please [DM me](https://mobile.twitter.com/frappuccinoljp/messages) because otherwise I will have absolutely zero motivation to continue writing and I'll probably never update again. Okay thanks bye
> 
> I hope you're all liking the fic so far because I'm really enjoying writing it. I'm really sorry I don't know when I can update, like I might update twice in a day (haha not likely) or I might update once a month. My schedule is so hectic and I probably shouldn't have started this fic until summer vacation, but oh well I guess.
> 
> I'm terribly sorry for the probably copious amounts of grammar and spelling mistakes, but I don't have a beta and I probably really need one. If you're interested, please contact me through my twitter or tumblr or you can just comment down below.
> 
> My twitter is [frappuccinoljp](https://twitter.com/frappuccinoljp) and my tumblr is [euquol](http://euquol.tumblr.com/).
> 
> A comment would be great, whether it's positive or negative, so definitely leave one down below.  
> Much love guys, Julie xx


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